


have you had dinner yet?

by lightningcanary



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-16 04:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16078133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningcanary/pseuds/lightningcanary
Summary: Patterson tends to forget to eat and Tasha notices





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been very very very uninspired so I asked for prompts and Caroline suggested a one shot where Tasha brings Patterson food because she forgets eating is a thing she has to do, so this happened.

It starts a few months after Tasha joins the FBI. She's coming back from her lunch break when she sees Patterson in her lab with the same focused expression she has had all morning. (Not that she's been staring.)

"Hey," she says as she enters the lab, taking the blonde's attention. Patterson smiles and Tasha is pretty sure she feels her heart skip a beat at the sight.

"Hi!" she greets happily, giving an adorably awkward wave that has Tasha grinning like an idiot.

"Um..." Tasha looks away, shaking her head slightly to clear her head. "Did you eat today?" she asks before looking at her again in time to see a blush creeping to Patterson's cheeks.

"Not yet," she mutters, reaching out for a file to keep herself busy and not look at Tasha.

"It's almost 4, Patterson," Tasha says, ducking her head to find her eyes.

Patterson sighs. "I know... I just... I have to finish this before tonight, and I finally think I can solve it. I can't stop."

"Right..." Tasha bites the inside of her lower lip, concerned and thinking what she can do to help. Until she gets an idea. "I'll be right back."

Less than 30 minutes later, she's entering the lab again, holding up a couple of boxes. Noticing she's back, Patterson looks up from the counter in the center of the lab and smiles curiously, squinting her eyes a little. Tasha hands her one of the boxes and raises an eyebrow, smirk growing on her lips. "Lunch?"

For the next few years, it goes like this: Tasha goes to the lab on her lunch break and if she sees Patterson is on what she now calls "her zone" (meaning she's concentrated and getting work done and if she stops working, she'll lose it), she leaves and buys takeout for both of them and they eat in the lab while she helps her with whatever she's doing; if, instead, Patterson looks frustrated or bored, she asks her if she wants to go get lunch.

At first it's just lunch, but one day, as she's leaving the building, Tasha sees Patterson rushing from the lab into Mayfair's office and back into her lab. Looking at her face, Tasha can tell she's "on her zone". Looking at her watch, she wonders if she stays late at work often, and if that means she also forgets to have dinner.

The next day, she sees it again so she asks her if she's eaten. And that's how the dynamic extends to dinner as well.

And somehow, Tasha starts randomly going into the lab with chocolate bars, apples or Patterson's favourite cookies when she has work around. Which is definitely not more often than it has to.

Until one day, she walks into the lab in time to hear Borden ask Patterson out for lunch.

It's like a punch to her stomach. She found out they were dating a few weeks before but until that moment it hadn't affected her dynamic with Patterson. But now he was taking _their thing_ , well what she thought was their thing, because Patterson says yes, and Tasha knows it's not fair to get mad at her, he's her boyfriend, of course they have lunch dates, but she can't help but feel betrayed. She walks away before either of them can see her and the rest of the day she's all gloomy, because it isn't until that incident that it downs on her. That Patterson isn't single anymore. That Patterson doesn't feel anything for her. That Patterson is straight and will never feel the same way.

It doesn't stop completely, they still eat together now and then, she still brings Patterson snacks, but it's not almost every day like it used to. He's there more days than not. He's the one taking her home at night after convincing her to stop working.

It's not until after he's gone, until Patterson faints in front of her, that it gets back to normal, to almost every day. And everything starts to slowly feel right again.

But then Patterson gets a job in California and she takes it and Tasha should have seen it coming, should have noticed she needed a break, she's her best friend, for fuck's sake, she should have realised. But she didn't. And Patterson is gone and the FBI keeps not getting results and Tasha gets more and more frustrated until she realizes she can't find a reason to turn Keaton's job offer down anymore, there's nothing keeping her in the FBI.

But a year later, Patterson is back, and Jane and Kurt are back. The whole team is back. And she finds herself wishing nothing more than for Keaton to accept Reade's offer of a joint task force between the two organizations.

It takes them one day to be back on track. Tasha expected their friendship to be a little weird for a while, a whole year apart can harm a relationship badly. But it doesn't. In one day, they are acting like nothing has happened. Actually, they are stronger than ever, and Patterson looks lighter, happier. (And Tasha is so fucked up. One day and she's already smiled more than in a whole year.)

And, of course, they soon get back to the random snacks, the lunch and dinner breaks and the takeout. Now, sometimes, it's Patterson who walks out of the lab and finds her to go get food, instead. Those are Tasha's favourite days.

More than once, she finds herself wanting to tell Patterson about project Dragonfly. More than once, Patterson finds herself asking Tasha if she's okay. And every time she brushes it off and blames it on being tired. Because, every time she sees Patterson's smile, she can't bring herself to tell her. She can't lose that smile. She can't be the reason it disappears again. So she lets it go and tells herself she will tell her soon, because she's gonna find out and if it doesn't come from her, she certainly will lose her. And she definitely can't lose her again. She doesn't know how she'd deal with that. She doesn't know _if_ she would.

But then they have decoded the messages and she knows she can't delay it anymore, so she tells them. She tells _her_.

"How could you possibly know that?" Patterson asks, her voice small, afraid.

"Because Atlantic17 is me."

And in that moment, Tasha sees something in Patterson's eyes break. And she knows she has lost her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be terrible.. I'm sorry in advance

Patterson misses Tasha.

It's been about 5 months since she got fired. Which means it's been 5 months since they've talked. And even then, she was still upset about the Borden thing, so technically it's been more.

She thought those months where she had to see her were bad, but, man, it was nothing compared to not having her at all, to not knowing where she is at all.

Back then, she found herself wanting to reach out for the brunette, missing her during lunch, and dinner in the days she stayed late (which is definitely not all of them). She found herself walking towards her more than once. But as soon as she was close, she remembered. She remembered how Tasha betrayed her, how she lied to her about the probably worst thing she could lie about. She thought Tasha was the one person in the world who'd never hurt her, the one she thought she could trust more than anyone. And then she did.

When her dad told her that she should take her own advice, she knew that he was right, that she was overreacting. That Tasha did what she had to do. And that it's Tasha. She's her best friend. She shouldn't let that asshole take that from her too. But it was precisely because it was Tasha that it had hurt that much.

Back then, Tasha left snacks in the lab for Patterson when she wasn't there. She pretended not to know they were from her, but she knew. She never saw her leave them there, but she knew.

Now, she has no idea where Tasha is. She doesn't know where she went, she doesn't know why she left. She didn't even get a goodbye. And if she could, she'd spend the rest of her life not talking to Tasha but seeing her every day, instead of spending one more day like this.

Now, she misses her every minute of every hour. She thinks about her during team meetings. She misses her during trivia night. She misses her smile, her eyes, her sarcasm. Her laugh.

And every time Rich suggests they get takeout whole they are at work, she can feel her heart break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also I'm sorry...ish

**Author's Note:**

> don't hate me
> 
> I MIGHT add a second chapter  
> Maybe


End file.
